Top 15 Vanity Plate No-Nos

Sure too much H3NNESSY or CHIANTIS gives you the GI66LE5. Just don’t put it on your licence plate. It’s that time of year again, when Service Ontario releases the Hall of Shame of rejected vanity plates. 

Vanity Plates You Won’t be Seeing in 2020

1. We feel for you. We’re all in it together, FKCOVID19.

2. Okay, we get it. You’re a dentist, 5AYAHH.

3. You may be lost, but the rest of us know how to drive in the big city, ATLANTI5.

4. No wonder the B4TMOBL won’t start. The battery’s dead. 

5. The real reason DR4GULA doesn’t have any friends. He’s a pain in the neck.

6. Holy Ravioli, B4TM4NX! It’s AQUAM4N!

7. Look, we get a new BMW is the best PAYB4CK, but must you be so braggy?

8. SSHHHHH! up while I’m driving the MOTHR5HP. 

9. NOT.2D4Y or any day, Mr. NAS5TY. 

10. HELLLLLO! If IRONM4DN had a collision with RU5H, Guess Who would be SMOKED.

5 Favourite Licence Plate Reject Runner-Ups

1. What do you get when you cross A.TOMATO with ORG4NIC G04TM1LK? Soup silly.

2. You bet FRNKN5TN is 5CARRY.

3. We’re pretty sure MEG4TRN has N0.DENT5.

4. If K4RATE and M3ANGRLS ever tangle, there’s gonna be trouble!

5. AURELIUS and AUGUSTUS walk out of a bar and see white stuff all over the car. “What’s that?” AUGUSTUS says. “Hail, Caesar!” 

Grounds for Getting Turned Down

The vanity of it all. Service Ontario rejects thousands of specialized licence plate requests every year. Here’s how it works: 

  • Provincial staff review your idea. 
  • Your inspiration gets a twice over by the Personalized Licence Plate Review Committee if it appears iffy. 
  • Agreement must be unanimous before it’s given a nod. 
  • Just on the line submissions are sent up the line to Ministry of Transportation and Service Ontario managers to give the final stamp of approval. 

Over 29,469 personalized plates were approved this past year. Before you submit your namesake, make sure you meet the guidelines. 

Think Like a Password

Like a password, you can use just about any combination of numbers and letters, up to eight characters for passenger and commercial vehicles or two to five for motorcycles. No two plates are the same. So if your combo has been thought of before, it’s back to the drawing board for you. 

Too Sexy For Your Clothes

Good taste rules. You can be as witty as you like (sort of), as long as you don’t get too carried away. No soft porn please. Sexual messages or meanings like SZX and XRATED are out. 

No Gangsta or Crime Rhymes

Being a gangsta is ILLICITD. No BLK.EYE or KILLR.WGN (even if it is one) permitted. Names suggesting violence or illegal or criminal activity get bounced. So do potentially discriminatory or biased monikers, even if you were just making fun of yourself (JAPSUB13 or HILLBLY1, anyone)? 

Slangster Not Spoken Here

So you’re a slangster, not a gangster. That’s not making the grade, even in Twitter speak. No LMAO or MUCK.OFF for you. Abusive, obscene or profane language and derogatory slang, in any language, are kiboshed. 

You Can’t Dance to This One

WASP4EVR and FREDNECK made it into infamy for being politically incorrect, even if they were tongue-in-cheek. Human rights indiscretions of any kind won’t make it past the licence plate tribunal.

Ain’t It a Sin

You may have the face of an angel, but not on your licence plate please, ANGELIC3. No doubt you’re ABLESSING or 1DIVINE1, but no excuses. We’d run the other way if AMGEEZUS met LUCIFIR on the 401. Only titles that formally denote a religious practitioner make it through.  

Booze, Drugs, Rock & Roll

Had a few too many when you hit send? Now that your hangover is over, you may regret telling the world, especially the boss, you’re a MNSHINER or use PXE.DUST. Cute quips about using or selling illegal or even legal drugs or alcohol are taboo. Brand names or the way they made you feel are nixed too, PRPLHZE.

Puzzlers and Political Thrillers

Would a real KGBAGENT advertise on their licence plate? We don’t think so, but we could be wrong. References to well-known figures or names and political opinion won’t make the cut, FREE.HK and GRETAWHO. Unless they’ve been reincarnated, Fidel and the head of Haiti probably aren’t living in Ontario, CASTRO.4 and 1PAPADOC. Political slurs, affiliations or organizations are not allowed, unless it’s the name of a non-profit or trade union. 

Send Ups On The Man

Look, we all agree TAXSSUCK. Very funny, but no to negative or derogatory send ups of government. Regardless if you are a cop, the committee is chasing down false associations with public institutions and law enforcement. Putting the badge number of your “frenemy” on your licence plate? Yeah, just don’t do it.

Say What?

Graphics or characters might be objectionable won’t make the cut, PSHHHH. Cops have to be able to read your plate. Confusing numbers and letters like S/5, A/4, G/6, Q/O that are hard to make out a distance will be rejected. Identical characters in a row are limited to four in a row. You could also run afoul of the licence plate police if your licence plate is too close to an approved one.

Trademark Troubles

You may be a couch potato after hours, but no you can’t use LABBAT50. Trademarks don’t fly. It’s up to you to check it out before you get hit with trademark infringement.

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Graphic courtesy Ontario Ministry of Government and Consumer Services.