Canadians have the strangest encounters.
A Chilly Demise
Inuit hunters on King William Island near Nunavut got the scare of their life when they came across two unkempt men who had spent days sleeping inside the hollowed out corpses of seals. The remote band had just encountered survivors of the doomed 129-man Franklin Expedition to the ice-logged Arctic Northwest Passage. The wrecks of the HMS Erebus and Terror, which set sail in 1845, were located in 2014.
He Can Barely Believe It
David Schwab was three times lucky after a black bear came at him repeatedly in Kenora. The 69-year-old was hiking near his cottage when he spotted a bruin in the bush. It took chase, biting him in the leg and thigh before a smack to the snout with a birch log drove it off. Amazingly, the bear attacked him twice more before Schwab was able to punch and kick his way to safety.
Seniors Gone Wild
Older Canadians toughing it out in the woods made headlines again when a 60-year-old cabin dweller and her partner from Flores Island, B.C., fought off a cougar. She suffered bite wounds. The cougar died from being stabbed with a spear by her companion.
Just a Light Snack
Seven-year-old Kaylum Doherty is happy he got out of harm’s way after a young, malnourished mountain lion nabbed him at Sproat Lake, B.C. Revealing a way with words, the big-eyed hot dog lover reported: “The cougar almost ate me for lunch … and breakfast.”
Widowed Too Soon
Black widow spider bites are painful but rarely fatal. Durham resident Lisa Berger turned the tables on the shy, reclusive shiny black spider with the red, hourglass-shaped belly. The unwelcome visitor was widowed too soon after Berger gave it a chilly reception in her freezer.
Stalked by a Sasquatch
It was no honeymoon for two hikers stalked by the mythical Sasquatch two months apart at Honeymoon Lake near Banff. ‘Iam Tracker’ reports a creature with a large, Ape-like flat face “and big dark eyes” watching him as he peeled off the hiking trail and into his Honda. A female hiker had a near identical encounter with a nine- to 10-foot hairy ape that followed her into the parking lot.
Beam Me Up
An unnamed Oshawa resident told 2015 Canadian UFO Survey researchers he (she?) was abducted and taken aboard a spaceship. The photos were too fuzzy to identify the make or model. A total 0f 1,267 close encounters with unexplained lights and disc- or diamond-shaped crafts were recorded that year alone, the second busiest year on record. “…we’re not saying the little grey guys are here. This is simply what people are reporting,” Chris Rutkowsk commented in a CTV News interview.
Ride Before a Fall
A jumper took the plunge at Niagara Falls but it wasn’t to get married. The man survived the 188-foot Horseshoe Falls with bruises to his ribs, chest, head and shoulders. An earlier survivor reported going over the falls felt like being beaten with baseball bats. Nothing could beat the experience of seven-year-old American visitor Roger Woodward, swept over the rushing waters in a lifejacket after a boating accident. Woodward said it was like “floating in a cloud.”
A 44-year-old Toronto man thankfully emerged alive and kicking when both his main and secondary parachutes failed during a 2,000-foot fall. The Hamilton Sport Parachute Club member became entangled in his chute after leaping from a DC-3 aircraft. He was conscious when found in a nearby wooded area.
A Cold Dose of Reality
Veteran hunter and trapper Michelle Wohlberg, 32, and Nikki van Schyndel,44, spent months alone in the frozen Northwest Territories, vying for a $500,000 USD prize on season six of American reality show Alone. With minus 30 C winds whipping around the tundra, Wohlberg is at least from Saskatchewan, where winters get to minus 50 C with wind chill and worse. van Schyndel is a Langley and North Vancouver city girl.
Blue But Not Bitter
Cape Breton guitarist Matt Minglewood is grateful to still be “rockin’ the blues” after a too-close brush with a bush in his Glace Bay yard. The Juno nominee musician is staying positive about the freak gardening accident that caused facial lacerations and vision loss.
And Elliot Berinstein finally got his pomade on, eight years late. The Toronto resident physician ordered a $5 tube of Brylcreem from Well.ca in 2012. Canada Post delivered the expedited parcel in 2020. The agency is investigating the “unique situation.” Well called it an atypical customer experience. No word on why Berinstein chose Brylcreem over greaser favourite Old Spice. Sounds slippery to us.
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